Adventures on the SVU Set
by BensonStabler
Summary: My take on what would happen should myself and some of my fellow tweeps who are now my RL friends ever got to go on the SVU set!  CRACKTASTIC AT IT'S BEST...


**A/N: So this is just for fun…call it crack or funny whatever! This is what happened when myself and some of my twitter pals took a tour of the SVU set! TOTAL FICTION! Although some of this could seriously happen, if you know any of us in real life. Told from my POV! Staring the lovely Foreword55 TwiztedsvuSista TracieOneSeven LittleKakau Abbyfearless and Mapher1**

We all gathered onto the subway, pushing the others aside to get a seat.

Klair yelled "Move it, move it pregnant lady coming through" as she motioned for Abby to sit.

Karen began to get giddy and clapping her hands like a seal. "I can't believe we are going to the SVU set today! I can't believe we are going to get to meet Chris!"

I rolled my eyes like it was no big deal, all the while my stomach churning at the thought of meeting Mr. Hottie himself, Chris Meloni.

Tracie had to chime in, of course, saying "I've already met him. I have a pic with him on my phone. Do you guys wanna see it?"

As if we hadn't seen it a gazillion times already and the one with Mariska.

In unison we all yelled "NO!"

Ally, who had been surprisingly quiet thus far, said "Who gives a shit about meeting Meloni. We are going to meet Mariska!"

Klair and Abby both nodded their heads with a dreamy look in their eyes.

Linda had to add her two cents of course "I just hope Peter is there. I wanna meet Peter. Do you think he'll be there?"

We ignored her.

We finally arrived at our stop. We had to walk a few blocks from the subway station to Chelsea Piers. When we arrived, we were all giddy. We couldn't believe it. Everyone started doing their makeup, so we would look just right when we finally met the objects of our hidden desires.

We entered the building and went up the elevator to the Wolf Films floor. We exited the elevator and were met by an extremely rude woman who asked how the hell we got up there and what we wanted. We explained that we had won a day on the set. She looked at us suspiciously, especially me, as if she had seen me before. I was secretly hoping she didn't remember the time I did sneak up there with my kids and she threw us out(TRUE STORY LOL).

We walked through the doors and were in awe. There was the squad room that actually looked like the Waldorff Astoria as opposed to a real police station.

Ally gasped and grabbed my hand. There she was, Mariska Hargitay. She walked towards us and held out her hand to greet us all. We did the introductions. Things became slightly awkward when Ally would not let go of Mariska's hand. We had to practically pry her away. Abby spoke softly, mumbling something about this being the most awkward moment of her life and ran to the corner. Linda pushed us all aside and asked "Is Peter going to be here today? I'd really love to meet him. I saw him in Warhorse. He was amazing. Will he be here?"

Mariska looked at her slightly perplexed and responded "Yes, he'll be here late to drop August off."

Linda fainted.

Reviving Linda, was an unforeseen problem seeing that we were only there for one day. We felt like she was ruining our day by passing out cold. I said something about her being really inconsiderate, which earned me a glare from Mariska. Karen slapped her hard a few times mumbling something about not ruining the best day of her life, while I began swearing and also slapping her. She finally came to. We got her to her feet. She was still a little wobbly so we pushed her over to the corner where Abby was still standing, biting her nails.

Klair was so happy to meet her, she began to cry and hug her. Karen, Tracie and I were happy to meet Mariska but everyone knew we were really waiting to meet Chris.

Finally, not being able to wait any longer to meet "the man" I pushed everyone aside and said "Mariska it's great meeting you and all and hopefully…yeah hopefully we can all talk later but right now I really need to meet Chris. So if you could make that happen, that'd be great." She looked at me like I was a bitch.

She responded "Yeah, lemme go get him" as she walked away. I swear I heard her mumble something about a bunch of horny bitches, but I must have been mistaken.

Karen slapped me on the shoulder and said "Lynn, I know you want to meet Chris and all but damn did you have to be so rude to her?"

"Oh please Karen! Like you aren't horny as hell right now at the thought of meeting him. You have a freakin picture of him hanging above your bed for Christ sake. Get a grip. I'm makin it happen here." I responded.

Meanwhile, Tracie is going through her phone looking for her pictures of herself with Mariska and Chris. "I found them" she yelled running up to us.

"Look" I said. "We know you met Chris and Mariska. We know you were in a couple of SVU eps but now you need to chill girl. This is our fuckin moment okay? We let you come along cause we love you dearly but now you need to get a grip before I delete those damn pictures!"

Tracie began to cry.

Karen and I rolled our eyes, thinking what the hell? Now, she's gonna ruin the day for us too. Linda passes out, Tracie is in tears, Abby is rocking herself in the corner, Klair is giddy and Ally is just staring into space, every once in a while touching her hand that she shook Mariska's hand with mumbling something about never washing that hand again.

Karen grabbed my arm. She grabbed it so damn hard with her nails, she drew blood. "Lynn…Lynn…look there he is!"

"Oh sweet baby Jesus" I said. There he was the love of my fictional life. Chris Meloni.

He approached us with that damn smile that melts our hearts. He held out his hand to Karen and said "Hey, I'm Chris." Karen stood there. She was in another world. I think I heard her heart beating. I kicked her in the shin to snap her out of it. She held out her hand and said "Nice to meet you. I'm Karen. You're above my bed."

He looked at her and said "Excuse me?"

"Ummm, nothing never mind. I meant…I don't know what I meant, I'm just so happy to meet you" she said as she lunged at him giving him a hug. He hugged her back. I cringed and looked around hoping no one would notice when I pulled out my Karen voodoo doll and started poking her in the back.

Karen pulled away from the hug mumbling something about her back bothering her. I pretended to care.

The others slowly made their way over because let's face it, as much as they might protest, there were all about meeting Chris.

He shook everyone's hand and told them it was nice to meet them. I figured, obviously he was saving the best for last, moi!

Tracie held out her hand and said "Hi Chris. Remember me? Look I've met you before. See, I have pictures of us together and I was in two SVU episodes and you were so nice. It's so great to meet you again!"

He responded with a "Yeah, you too" and looked passed her.

He then approached me. I felt like vomiting. Then he spoke "And who might you be?" he asked in that low husky voice. I died. I stammered a bit before getting out "I'm…I'm Lynn and I love you. I mean…I love your work. You're awesome on SVU and you were amazing in OZ. I mean those naked..I mean… gotta love that wardrobe department, huh?"

He laughed. I laughed. Everyone else just glared at me. I turned to them throwing my hands up "What?"

Karen leaned into me and whispered in my ear "Quit flirting with him or I will kick your ass so hard when we get out of here."

I gave her a yeah whatever, bitch look. As if!

Linda became almost giddy with excitement when she saw Mariska's husband, Peter Herman, walk in with their son August. I thought I would have to slap the grin off her face. Everyone was introduced to Peter and August. The way Linda was flirting with him, made my flirting with Chris look extremely tame.

Chris and Mariska gave us the tour of the studio, each of us continuing to jockey for position to get as close to them as possible.

Karen and I won out in the end walking on either side of Chris, because well we are bitches like that when it comes to him.

The day was winding down and we all sat down to eat together before we had to catch our subway back home.

Karen and I sat on either side of Chris. I still can't believe she called me a liar when I told her it was a total accident that my hand swiped his ass as he was sitting down. Ally and Tracie sat on either side of Mariska, while Abby and Linda sat next to Peter. Klair had August on her lap.

There was a slightly awkward moment when Karen and I were both leaning on our elbows on the table staring at Chris watching him eat. Ally kicked us both in the leg and gave us a look.

We stood up from the table, thanking them both for a most awesome day. We left the studio giddy like the bunch of freaky fan girls that we are.

Everyone was talking over each other saying how they couldn't believe how nice they were and each of us showing the others all the pictures we had taken.

I then spoke up requesting silence from my fellow freaky fan girls.

"I got more than an autograph and a picture, guys" I said with a freakish smile on my face as I took a piece of paper out of my pocket.

"Oh, what's that?" Abby asked. Yes, Abby was no longer in the corner being awkward at this point.

"IT'S CHRIS' FREAKIN PHONE NUMBER BITCHES!" I yelled. "He slipped it to me when we were leaving!"

Karen began to cry.

**EPILOUGE:**

**So we all went home to our respective towns, never forgetting the most excellent adventure we had. Chris and I started a torrid affair, which continues to this day.**

**Karen now hates me.**

**A/N: Okay reviews! This is so cracktastic I love it. If you know any of us in real life…this could seriously happen. We had great adventures in NYC and hopefully more to come! I love you all!**


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